Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Irreverent Guide to Los Angeles

C  O  N  T  E  N  T  S
INTRODUCTION 1
Maps
Map 1     Los Angeles Neighborhoods     2
YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW 8
Where to find the best views of the city  (8) • How to drive the
drive  (9) • How to pass the parking test  (10) • Where to smoke  (10)
• How to stay out of trouble  (11) • Female trouble  (11) • How to see a
whole bunch of union guys standing around shooting the s—t with
the rent-a-cops while a movie/TV program/commercial isn’t being
made (11) • Why we give our cars names  (12) • How to get around
without a car  (12)
1  ACCOMMODATIONS 14
Basic Stuff 18
Winning the Reservations Game     18
Is There a Right Address?     18
The Lowdown 19
Wrong side of the freeway, right side of the wallet  (19) • Sunset Strip
joints for the hipeoisie  (19) • Convention-al choices with unconventional
style  (20) • For Health Nuts  (21) • Bunking on Bunker Hill (21) •
Boardwalk daze  (21) • The international hostel experience  (22) •
Upscale homes near the homeless  (23) • Beach bums and beauties  (23) •
The royal treatment  (24) • And the “Dorian Gray Slept Here Award”
goes to  (25) • And in second place  (25) • Escape to Catalina Island  (25)
• B&Bs in Pasadena  (26) • Hotels for finishing your screenplay  (27) •Icons of Beverly Hills  (27) • Slums of Beverly Hills  (28) • Gay gay gay
(28) • East beats West  (29) • Miracle miler  (29) • Smells like roach
spray, tastes like Marilyn  (30) • Très snotty  (30) • Anti-très snotty
(31) • Another midcentury marvel  (31) • Classic views  (32) • The price
is right... isn’t it? Please?  (32)Maps
Map 2     Los Angeles Accommodations Orientation     16
Map 3     Hollywood Accommodations     33
Map 4     Downtown Accommodations     34
Map 5     L.A.’s Westside & Beverly Hills Accommodations     35
The Index 36
An A to Z of places to stay, with vital statistics
2  DINING 46
Basic Stuff 50
How to Dress     51
Getting the Right Table     51
The Lowdown 51
Eastside essentials  (51) • L.A. icons: safe for eating  (52) • L.A. icons:
for drinking only (no eating)  (54) • More Italian than Chef Boyardee
(54) • Burgers and dogs  (55) • A side order of belly dancers  (56) •
Tongue-Thai-ed  (56) • Living treasures of Little Tokyo  (57) • Eat it
raw  (58) • French connection  (59) • Forget it, Jake—it’s Chinatown
(60) • Late-night bites  (60) • Where to write your screenplay  (61) •
Planet Carnivore  (62) • Planet Vegan  (62) • Organic orgasms  (63) •
Bend it like Bollywood  (64) • Attitude a la carte  (65) • Breakfast with
bohos  (65) • Sex food  (66) • Escape from LAX: Airport Dining  (66) •
Tired hangouts for the hipeoise  (67) • Queer food  (67) • Damn the
Merlot! Fill ’er Up  (68) • You can’t go wrong  (68) • Tacos, pupusas,
tortillas  (69) • Cheap eats  (70) • What is it about fire stations that gets
people salivating?  (70) • Good evening, Vietnam!  (71) • Location,
location, location  (71)
Maps
Map 6     Los Angeles Dining Orientation     48
Map 7     Hollywood Dining     73
Map 8     Downtown Dining     74
Map 9     L.A.’s Westside & Beverly Hills Dining     75
The Index 76
An A to Z list of places to dine, with vital statistics3  DIVERSIONS 90
Basic Stuff 94
Getting Your Bearings     94
The Lowdown 94
We are unreal  (94) • Wild kingdom  (95) • Ethnics ’R’ Us  (96) • Nav-
igating the Getty  (97) • Wall eyes  (98) • New downtown landmarks
(99) • Annual events  (99) • Neon Sights  (100) • Autoeroticism  (103)
• Architecture Tours  (103) • Who needs MoMA?  (104) • More free art
(104) • Words on paper and in your ear  (105) • Art openings  (106) •
Community art  (107) • Left of MoCA  (108) • Oddball museums
(109) • Beautiful buildings we haven’t torn down for mini-malls...yet
(110) • Downtown: not for skyscrapers only  (110) • Hollywood icons
(111) • Valentino and other frights  (112) • Living in concrete  (113) •
Elite art in public places  (113) • Parks of note  (113) • Behind the
scenes  (114) • Garden Spots  (115)
Maps
Map 10     Los Angeles Diversions Orientation     92
Map 11     Hollywood Diversions     116
Map 12     Downtown Diversions     117
The Index 118
An A to Z list of diversions, with vital statistics
4  GETTING OUTSIDE 128
Basic Stuff 130
The Lowdown 130
Inner-city beaches  (130) • Caddy hacks  (131) • Feets do your thing
(132) • Pollution’s a beach  (134) • Surf City, here we come  (135) •
Ringside seats for the circus  (136) • Camping it up  (136) • Where to be
humiliated in pickup basketball games  (137) • Fat-tire fanatic  (138) •
The dawning of the age of aquariums  (140) • Peerless piers  (141) •
Stairways to heaven  (141) • Peace and quiet...finally  (142) • The
recovery process  (143)
5  SHOPPING 144
Basic Stuff 148
Target Zones     148
Bargain Hunting     150
The Lowdown 150
Ethnic one-stops  (150) • Nice (Spice) Rack  (151) • Tokyo prose  (152) •
Armchair travel  (153) • Produce supreme  (153) • Zeitgeist landmark,
audio  (154) • Nice buns  (155) • Word freaks  (155) • Midcentury
mania  (156) • Habitat  (157) • Used (or refused)  (157) • High-endvintage  (158) • Strange and bizarre, disturbing and wonderful  (158) •
A different kind of haircut  (160) • Living treasures of Little Tokyo
(160) • Pacific rim shots  (161) • Clothes for slumming celebs  (162) •
One-of-a-kinds  (162) • Mentioning unmentionables  (163) • Gewgaws,
knickknacks, froufrou  (164) • Set stylists’ resources  (165) • No one will
believe it’s secondhand  (165) • Shoe fetish  (165) • Museum Shops  (166)
• Music/records  (166) • Bookstores with a twist  (167) • Browsers’ havens
(168) • Between the covers for kids  (169) • Paper, plus  (170) • Toys for
adults  (170) • Dildos ’R’ Us  (171) • Easy rider  (171) • Road weenies
rule!  (171)
Maps
Map 13     Los Angeles Shopping     146
The Index 172
An A to Z list of places to shop, with vital statistics
6  NIGHTLIFE 184
Basic Stuff 188
The Lowdown 189
The A list  (189) • Downtown gutter crawl  (190) • So-last-year bars
(191) • Noise makers  (191) • Tiki Ti  (192) • Hotel bars  (192) • Where
the real swingers have moved on to  (194) • Okay, you’re really not a
pathetic loser, you just want to see some titties and have a drink  (196) •
Living L.A. rock roots  (196) • Bars for locals  (197) • Pub-crawl,
Hollywood-style  (197) • Toujours gay  (198)
Maps
Map 14     Los Angeles Nightlife     186
The Index 199
An A to Z list of nightspots, with vital statistics
7  ENTERTAINMENT 204
Basic Stuff 208
Getting Tickets     208
Sources     209
The Lowdown 209
Class acts  (209) • Outdoor venues  (210) • Moving-picture palaces  (211)
• Taking the ultrawide view  (212) • Special stages  (213) • And now
for something totally different  (214) • Big dreams, small spaces  (215) •
I’ve Got No Strings  (216) • Bowling for boredom  (216) • Bohos with
flip-flops  (216) • Making it up  (217) • Professional sports  (217)
Maps
Map 15     Los Angeles Entertainment     206
The Index 218
An A to Z list of venues, with vital statisticsHOTLINES & OTHER BASICS 224
Airports  (225) • Airport transportation  (225) • ATM  (226) • Buses
(226) • Bus-bike combination  (227) • Car rentals  (227) • Child care
(228) • DASH  (228) • Disability services  (229) • Doctors  (229) •
Driving around  (229) • Earthquakes  (230) • Emergencies  (231) •
Foreign-currency exchange  (231) • Gay and lesbian resources  (232) •
Gridlock  (232) • HIV/AIDS  (232) • Homeless  (232) • Newspapers
(233) • Parking  (233) • Pharmacies  (234) • Phone facts  (234) • Post
offices  (234) • Radio stations  (234) • Smoking  (235) • Subways and
trains  (235) • Taxis  (236) • Tipping  (236) • TV tapings  (236)
GENERAL INDEX 237
Accommodations Index     (241)
Restaurant Index     (242)

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